2 Questions, 2 Truths

When you I write a blog post I rarely never have the time to find all the scrumptious words or present my offering with the “voila!” of someone serving a gourmet feast at Thanksgiving.

But this morning, more than most, I feel like I’m serving up “bare naked chicken” – just a couple of things I’ve been thinking about that seem to go together.

A few weeks ago I was listening to a sermon podcast by Craig Groeschel and honestly I can’t remember the point of the sermon because as an aside (not having to do with the message at all), he said his counselor had asked him two questions.

Those two questions are what my mind keeps returning to.  Here’s what they are:

Do You Have FOMO?

FOMO.  I just heard about this for the first time Wednesday morning on the Today show.  It’s an acronym that stands for the fear of missing out.  According to a new study, 56% of social media users have it.

FOMO is “a fear of one’s social standing or how one is perceived amongst peers, and a need to constantly know what is happening and what others are doing,” according to Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist in NYC.

The study says, “The problem for people with a high level of FOMO is they may become so involved in seeing what their friends are doing and they are not, they often ignore what they are actually enjoying themselves.”

“FOMO can cause anxiety, stress and, in more extreme cases, even depression…” she says.

• Ever surreptitiously check your phone under the table’s edge in a meeting?
• Perhaps you’ve walked into a lamp pole while checking Facebook on your phone? (This may, or may not have happened to me)
• Do you check Twitter first thing in the morning before brushing your teeth?
• Are you ever more present to Instagram than you are to your kids?
• Have you been known to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s because you’re depressed by the wedding, vacation, or concert pictures someone posted?

What if our obsession with the lives of others, is causing us to miss our own life?

The Voice of Fear on Fearless Friday

I do not think of myself at an insecure person.  So writing these next sentences feels a little like Lance Armstrong must have felt coming clean with Oprah.  Except for the fact that I don’t have millions to lose and I’ve never won a bike race and I’m not a guy. Ok, it’s totally different, but here’s my confession.

I’ve been decidedly daunted this week.  Perfectly paralyzed. Buffeted by the winds of self-doubt and discouragement.

This seemed to come out of nowhere, but when I stopped to pray and reflect I can trace the beginnings to a Tweet.  Yep, it took just 140 insensitive characters to take me down.  “Really?”  you’re saying.  Really?

And then there was a post by someone who made me furious and jealous at the same time.

And a word here or the lack of a word there…

Holy Buckets!  Just days ago I was undaunted…bullet-proof, regardless of any spitballs that might be spat my way!  And now the spiral into the comparison trap that left me in a heap of ” Not good enough.  Not good enough.”

Ever end up there?  Maybe by a different road, but still?

Who or What is it in your life that brings up those feelings of fear or insecurity?

Recently I read this quote by Rick Warren that made me respond “Yes!”:

“Insecurity is an internal alarm that says you’re trusting in something that could be taken from you instead of [trusting in] Christ.”  

So I’ve been stewing and praying (sometimes the two look a lot alike) about how to deal with this.  It’s messy and it’s a process and it’s not easy.  Here are a few of the things I’ve been trying.

1.  Identify the voice. When you feel angry, or fearful, or jealous, or small, do you stop and think “Where is that coming from? Just who or what is really saying that to me?”  Why am I giving it such power in my life?  Why does it bring up this strong emotion in me?  Does it tap into a past wound that I need to address?

2.  Challenge the voice with the truth.  “Bring every thought captive to Christ.”  What would Jesus say in response to this narrative?   If the story in your head says anything other than that you are gifted by God, fearfully and wonderfully made, cherished by Him, created for good works that He has for you, it’s a lie and you need to tell it to shut up. (I know, easier said than done!)

3.  Manage what or who you’re allowing to get in your head.  For me this means ruthlessly putting up some boundaries.  Fasting from some social media, and un-following some people who are wonderful but bring out my worst self.  It may be totally different for you.  It might involve the people you spend time with or the shows you watch or where you go or whatever…

Why is this so important?

Because if we listen to the voice of fear and insecurity when God calls us to go, we’ll stay.

When He calls us to stay the course, we’ll run away.

When He calls us to speak, we’ll remain silent.  And I truly believe that all of our voices are valuable and needed in the kingdom.

Those are a few of my strategies.  What helps you?

P.S.  I wrote this and afterwards I saw this great image posted by John Acuff.  Happy Friday!

Christmas Covet

Recently I heard someone say that they like Thanksgiving much better than Christmas because at Thanksgiving the focus is on being grateful for what we have, and at Christmas the focus is on getting what we want (or maybe more accurately, on what is lacking in our lives).  I hope it’s more than that, but I get what they mean.  There’s a lot at Christmas that threatens our contentment by tempting us to compare and covet, not just the things others have, but their life.

It used to be at this time of year our mailbox was filled with the “Christmas Letter” from friends around the country.                                                                                               The Christmas letter with glowing accounts of our friends’ “best life”…the highlight reel, the “brand”…the image we want to project…

But now with Facebook and Twitter it’s possible to read a perpetual “Christmas Letter” from friends all year long.  Facebook and Twitter can be  awesome tools to connect us in community.  But they can also be places where I covet a life that’s not mine.

Running the Wrong Race

We have many gorgeous autumnal days here in Minnesota. (Autumnal is a word my husband likes to use and once made the mistake of trying to use it in a compliment, as in “Honey you look really autumnal.”  Note to husbands:  Do not try this)  Anyway, awhile ago I was taking a walk around a lake.  I stopped to adjust my ipod and a young woman power-walked past me.  I smiled and fell in walking briskly about 30 yards behind her.

She anxiously looked over her shoulder at me and tried to speed up, swinging her arms more vigorously.  It was apparent that it was very important to her to walk faster than me.

It became comical as we went around a wooded bend.  Thinking she was obscured from my view for a minute, she glanced back, and jogged a few yards to get farther ahead.

Since she had her back to me and couldn’t see me unless she turned around, I mischievously jogged a few yards on the straightaway to close the gap and freak her out.

We went on like this until I came upon a stunningly beautiful maple tree in a hundred shades of turning…green to gold, to orange to red… I stopped in my tracks.  I looked ahead at the girl who was “running her race” in relation to me and thought how often this is a picture of my spiritual journey.

Both of us were more concerned about the progress of the other than of truly being present in the moment, attentive to what God had for us as individuals.  I could keep walking, trying to keep pace with the girl in front of me, or I could choose to turn aside to this tree, as Moses to his burning bush and say, “What do you have for me, Lord?”

It brought to mind Jesus’ conversation with Peter in John 21.  Jesus tells Peter about his future and commands him to follow, but Peter looks at the other disciple, John and says, “Lord, what about him?”  Jesus’ response is basically, “Don’t worry about my plans for him.  That shouldn’t matter to you.  Just YOU follow me.”

Do YOU ever get caught up in comparison and striving to run a race that isn’t yours?  What do you do about it??