Why my Daughter is Crying

As I may have mentioned Most people within a five hundred mile radius know that our daughter Maggie is getting married.  34 days, 9 hours and 27 minutes from this moment.


I’m not gonna kid you.  We’ve experienced kind of a perfect wedding storm of crazy that totally caught us off-guard.  And there have been quite a few tears (also unusual).

The other day, daughter Katy passed along this tumblr that a guy started – Why My Son is Crying* – recording pictures and the reason why he was crying with each shot.  Maybe some of you know about this and I’m just late to the party (as usual).

Some of my favorite reasons for his tears are:

  • Buzz Lightyear’s knee is bent.
  • It took me longer than 0 seconds to take off his shirt.
  • I touched his foot with my foot.
  • We wouldn’t let him drink whiskey.
  • We wouldn’t let him open the hotel door and run naked through Times Square.

If you have been a parent for more than the time it took me to write this sentence, you can relate.

2 months old, 2 years old, 25 years old.  Our kids cry.  And sometimes when they’re little (rarely) it’s hard not to laugh at the absurdity.  But mostly tears break our hearts and we just want to fix whatever is wrong.

Our kids cry.  And we cry.  Over loss, unmet expectations, frustration, despair, fatigue…

This weekend there was an altered wedding dress that was “wrong”, centerpieces that are “wrong”, the inability to get a wedding license, lack of a place to live and 3 moves coming up within the space of 6 weeks… One million details and decisions that won’t make any difference ten years from now (ok, the wedding license may be a deal-breaker, but you know what I mean…).

Sometimes it’s hard to keep perspective.  It’s hard to remember who you are and what are the real things you should cry about.

I’m thankful that this will be over and these tears will (Someday.  A long time from now) be ones we can laugh about.  Maggie will go back to periodically shedding tears over important things – things that make her who she is.

Tears of anger over the injustices she is committed to fighting in the world.

Tears of inspiration as she is part of God’s work, bigger than herself.

Tears of gratitude for deep friendships and a life-giving faith community.

What’s moving you to tears today?  

You can see the “Reasons my Son is Crying” blog here.*

6 thoughts on “Why my Daughter is Crying

  1. My duaghter will be heading off to college this fall. My tears are of sadness that she won’t be around to sit on the bed and chat with, tears of joy as she goes onto becoming who God wants her to be (with no parental interferance), and tears of fear that I won’t be there to pick her up when she falls. I know I have to let everything be put in God’s hands.


    • Oh yes! I think all the seasons of transition are hard on everyone. I’d love to hear from your daughter and from other twenty-somethings who read this what it’s like for them – these times of change. How can we best come alongside them in healthy life-giving ways?


  2. Laura, I had tears well up when I saw Maggie on Friday….my first weepy thought – I can’t believe this little girl that was one of my leaders as well as having a wicked backhand down the line shot is getting married not to mention doing other ‘adult’ stuff. My second weepy thought was how proud you and John must be at the woman she has become. It was wonderful to see you both in the midst of the planning. xo


  3. First I should say that I had a baby 9 weeks ago…..tears? Oh yes! Because I was impatient waiting for her to arrive and then because she had arrived and I was no longer pregnant. Tears from lack of sleep and too many hormones, tears from fussy kids and frusterated parents. In the midst of this there have also been tears of joy – an overflow of love at the beauty of a new life. Marriage is a lot like this. Tears from impatience and then tears because the big day has come and gone so quickly. Tears from lack of sleep and too many hormones. What joy it will be! So excited for you all!


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